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This One's For You, George Stephanopoulos

Timothy Burke — Tue, 26 Jun 2018 02:05:00 GMT

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Nick. Buddy.

Timothy Burke — Sun, 24 Jun 2018 01:17:00 GMT

C’mon, man. You can’t, just... drink it, after.

Icelandic TV Set Its Highlight Reel Of The Argentina Match To "Immigrant Song," And It Kicks Ass

Timothy Burke — Fri, 22 Jun 2018 14:20:00 GMT

Iceland takes on the Super Eagles of Nigeria in our next World Cup match, so here’s something to get you psyched up for the battle: a highlight reel from Iceland’s match against Argentina, set to Led Zeppelin’s “Immigrant Song,” as aired just now on Icelandic TV.

Hmm

Timothy Burke — Wed, 20 Jun 2018 19:09:00 GMT

Javier Fortuna Falls Out Of Ring, Is Removed On Stretcher By Paramedics; Opponent Says "He Was Looking For An Excuse"

Timothy Burke — Sun, 17 Jun 2018 01:40:00 GMT

Dominican super lightweight Javier Fortuna left his bout in Texas tonight against Adrian Granados on a stretcher after tumbling out of the ring and appearing to hit his neck or head on something ringside. Curiously, (skeptical?) Showtime commentators immediately started speculating about rematch possibilities while…

Cheatin' Phil Mickelson Melting Down At The U.S. Open [UPDATE]

Timothy Burke — Sat, 16 Jun 2018 18:51:00 GMT

Phil Mickelson was already ten-over at the U.S. Open before putting up a ten-spot on the par-4 13th thanks to some putt-putt style cheatery.

Icelandic TV Announcer Loses Mind Over Messi PK Stop [UPDATE]

Timothy Burke — Sat, 16 Jun 2018 14:27:00 GMT

A penalty kick that ought to have given Argentina a 2-1 lead on Iceland in their World Cup match today in Moscow became electric when Hannes Halldórsson turned away Lionel Messi, prompting an absolute explosion of emotion from the Icelandic TV announcer. We’re not quite sure how he still has a voice.

Fox U.S. Open Broadcast Features Two Dudes Talkin' About Fuckin'

Timothy Burke — Fri, 15 Jun 2018 18:25:00 GMT

“We were fucking so hard and I head-butted her in the head.”

When You Ask About The Pee Tape

Timothy Burke — Thu, 14 Jun 2018 15:29:00 GMT

Florida Returns To College World Series Thanks To Auburn Outfielder

Timothy Burke — Tue, 12 Jun 2018 03:37:00 GMT

Austin Langworthy will be credited with the 11th-inning walk-off homer, but it came with an assist from Auburn outfielder Steven Williams:

Justify Wins Belmont, Ruins Mystique Of Triple Crown For A Generation

Timothy Burke — Sat, 9 Jun 2018 22:55:00 GMT

Justify clocked a 2:28 in the mile-and-a-half of the Belmont Stakes today, earning the first Triple Crown since, uh, three years ago, and driving a stake through the heart of mystery that surrounded the feat for millions.

Olivier Giroud, Matt Miazga Bloodied In Pre-World Cup Friendly

Timothy Burke — Sat, 9 Jun 2018 20:25:00 GMT

As if the French didn’t have enough to worry about—seeing their national team down after one half to the U.S. in its last tune-up before the World Cup—now superstar Olivier Giroud has left the match alongside Matt Miazga after the two clashed heads on a corner kick.

Simona Halep Claims First Slam Title, One Year After Roland Garros Collapse

Timothy Burke — Sat, 9 Jun 2018 15:18:00 GMT

A year after she blew a one-set lead in the French Open final to allow unseeded Jeļena Ostapenko to claim victory on the clay, Simona Halep bounced back from losing the first set to defeat Sloane Stephens and seize the first Grand Slam title of her career, 3–6, 6–4, 6-1.

Rai Benjamin Runs 47.02 400m Hurdles, Tied For Second-Fastest In Human History

Timothy Burke — Sat, 9 Jun 2018 02:14:00 GMT

USC’s Rai Benjamin claimed the national championship in the 400 meter hurdles today in a mind-blowing 47.02, tying Edwin Moses’s former world record for the second-fastest time in human history in the event.

Steeplechase Leader Loses National Championship After Falling On Last Lap

Timothy Burke — Sat, 9 Jun 2018 01:10:00 GMT

Houston’s Brian Barraza accumulated a massive lead on his opponents on the final lap of tonight’s NCAA national steeplechase final, only for disaster to strike in such a way that he ended up finishing outside the top eight.

The 2018 Hockey Night In Canada Season-Ending Montage Is Here

Timothy Burke — Fri, 8 Jun 2018 03:50:00 GMT

Hockey is over for the summer. That sucks! Perhaps, maybe, the only thing that can get us through those lean months will be the annual masterpiece that is the Hockey Night In Canada season-ending montage, set this year to Oasis (??). Here you are.

Champion Capitals Salute Fans, Especially The One Flashing Them Next To The Glass [NSFW]

Timothy Burke — Fri, 8 Jun 2018 03:39:00 GMT

The Washington Capitals leveraged excellent teamwork on their way to claiming the Stanley Cup, and that teamwork continued as they took a lap around the arena in Las Vegas tonight, finding one, uh, nakedly enthusiastic fan showing her appreciation for the team in a not-safe-for-work way.

Umpires Observe Foul Ball, Decide It's A Fair Ball

Timothy Burke — Tue, 5 Jun 2018 22:50:00 GMT

What you are looking at here is Max Kepler of the Minnesota Twins fouling a pitch off not one but two of his legs. That is, by rule and interpretation of the MLB rulebook, a foul ball. Kepler was called out, 1-3, and the inning was ended.

Trump Unable To Remember Words To "God Bless America" At Performance Commissioned To Prove His Patriotism

Timothy Burke — Tue, 5 Jun 2018 19:12:00 GMT

Donald Trump’s hastily arranged replacement for the Super Bowl champion Eagles’ White House visit featured the president making a very brief appearance to talk about how great the economy is and, then, stand awkwardly while mouthing maybe half the words to “God Bless America” like a Yankees fan in right field who…

Bofa Deez Nuts Claims Maiden Victory

Timothy Burke — Sat, 2 Jun 2018 02:54:00 GMT

In a great moment for the planet Earth, a horse named Bofa Deez Nuts claimed its first victory tonight at Remington Park in Oklahoma City.

J.R. Smith's Enormous Boner, As Called By Eight Different Announcers In Three Different Languages

Timothy Burke — Fri, 1 Jun 2018 04:50:00 GMT

J.R. Smith’s end-of-regulation blunder sparked a meme-worthy reaction from LeBron James, a harsh rebuke from the Cavaliers’ Spanish-language radio announcers, and left several other broadcasters baffled or even, themselves, believing Cleveland had won the game (that’s ESPN Radio’s Marc Kestecher with the complete…

J.R. Smith Forces Overtime Against The Cavaliers

Timothy Burke — Fri, 1 Jun 2018 03:33:00 GMT

Legendary fuckup J.R. Smith is doing his best to please audiences tonight, as the Cavs veteran dribbled out the clock instead of using his rebound of a missed George Hill free throw to score a would-be game-winner. Great work all around, everyone, and don’t forget that LeBron James led this team to the NBA Finals.

BONK

Timothy Burke — Tue, 29 May 2018 01:31:00 GMT

Idiot On The Field Caps Off Perfect Champions League Final

Timothy Burke — Sat, 26 May 2018 20:42:00 GMT

Real Madrid claimed the Champions League trophy with a 3-1 win thanks to Liverpool keeper Loris Karius becoming some kind of player who puts the ball into his own net instead of keeping it out. More importantly, an Idiot On The Field interrupted play and prevented Cristiano Ronaldo from his own scoring attempt on the…

ESPN Deportes Announcers Are Losing Their Minds In The Champions League Final

Timothy Burke — Sat, 26 May 2018 20:04:00 GMT

Loris Karius’s embarrassing blunder that led to the opening goal in today’s Champions League final may have put Real Madrid up for a short-lived 1-0 lead, but it’s a moment ESPN Deportes announcers appear they will remember for the rest of their lives: