5. Man, I hope Clint Bowyer wins in New Hampshire today.

4. I wonder if Boehner resigned because meeting the Pope convinced him it was immoral to be a Republican?

3. That pregame empanada ain’t sitting right.

2. Will the supermoon result in super-werewolves?

1. Wait, I play for the Jets? Time to fuck up in some spectacular fashion, then.

[Fox]

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