When Spurs Jesus got burglarized last month, he didn’t turn the other cheek, and he didn’t forgive his (literal) trespassor. Because he’s not actually Jesus, he’s just a weird San Antonio fan who pretends to be Christ.

[WRGT]

To contact the author of this post, write to tim@deadspin.com (PGP key) or find him on Twitter @bubbaprog.