Just go with it:
Stephen Smith took a loss tonight in Las Vegas in his super featherweight bout against Francisco Vargas when his left ear became dangerously close to being entirely ripped off. The video is gross; this GIF is grosser:
A 67th-minute Jozy Altidore goal led Toronto to a 2-0 win over Seattle that earned his team its first-ever MLS championship and avenged last year’s MLS title match loss to the Sounders.
Army has its first win streak against Navy in 20 years after a 14-13 win in a snow-soaked game that resembled the sport’s earthbound origins more than perhaps any other game played this season.
Atlanta overcame three Matt Ryan interceptions to come back and beat New Orleans, thanks to Saints quarterback Drew Brees throwing his own awful interception with his team in game-tying field goal range followed by Sean Payton drawing an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty that prevented his team from ever getting the…
The Pittsburgh Steelers will finish tonight’s Monday night game against the Bengals without their leading tackler after Ryan Shazier suffered what appears to be a head or neck injury while attempting to make a tackle early in the game.
The SEC has fined Auburn a quarter of a million dollars for rushing the field after the Tigers beat Alabama today:
Alabama’s 25th-ranked team faced off against Minnesota in one of today’s marquee men’s basketball games, only to see its entire bench ejected after this brouhaha that, after another foul and an injury, left the team to play more than ten minutes with just three players. AND THEY CAME BACK.
Son, we recruited you to Western Kentucky to do one thing: punt the football. And you’ve done a hell of a job of punting that football this season. But what you did right here tonight, well, you did everything that wasn’t punting a football.
The first Thanksgiving in 1621 was held by religious fanatics to properly express gratitude to their God for a bountiful harvest. 396 years later, the holiday is recognized by football teams getting in fights with each other.
Tonight’s Egg Bowl between Ole Miss and Mississippi State started off ugly and got literally ugly as Bulldogs quarterback Nick Fitzgerald left the game on a cart after suffering a truly horrifying leg injury that left ESPN’s broadcast scrambling to cut away.
Boy, things sure are looking up for Jerry Jones! Here he is enjoying a Thanksgiving feast of a 28-6 loss and 434 passing yards allowed. Look upon his soul, or what is left of it:
The things that sneak through at the end of 56-3 football games:
Michael Pittman Jr. went 72 yards for a punt return touchdown on a play that faked out UCLA and ABC/ESPN’s camera operator as nearly every Bruin bit on a decoy punt return that opened the scoring in tonight’s battle of L.A.
Baker Mayfield is an excellent football player. He also seems to enjoy grabbing his dick and telling hapless Kansas players to go fuck themselves: